You're going to start your new fitness routine. You're going to eat healthier. You're going to finally organize your life. Just not today. Definitely Monday. Or next Monday. Or the Monday after that one. Here's the absurd logic behind why Monday is always one week away.
Mar 13, 2026
The self-checkout machine was supposed to make your life easier. It was supposed to save you time. Instead, it has frozen mid-transaction, is loudly announcing your business to the entire store, and an attendant is walking over with the exact energy of a substitute teacher who has seen it all before.
Mar 13, 2026
Every single time, you stand in the cereal aisle with the thousand-yard stare of a man who has lost something precious and irreplaceable. You had one job. You did not write it down. You were so sure.
Mar 13, 2026